Tear my house down
When I moved to Dallas last summer, I was worried that my dream of being an author would get delayed because of my 9 to 5. I was scared that I would burn out, never feel creatively inspired, and not have time to pursue my passion. So, I prayed and asked God, “If I move and take this job, will you please make room for both?”
Even when I got settled, I continued to ask God to make room because getting adjusted to a 9 to 5 did, in fact, consume my time and energy. For the majority of this past year, finding time to sit down and write had been challenging. Still, I kept praying and writing when I could find the time. I hit a rut around February where even if I felt inspired, I didn’t want to sit down and write because I knew I would just inevitably hit another wall. I wrote a poem about it called UNINSPIRED. In the poem are the lines:
“Creator then, Creator now
You’re still the Son of God
(I’m) uninspired, but You’re still
inspiring”
No matter how I’m feeling, no matter what I’m struggling with, Jesus is still the Son of God– restoring and giving new life to broken people and things. While writing UNINSPIRED, I was reminded that as long as I am surrendered to him, he will guide my creativity and delight in it. So, I surrendered the process and put my trust in Him again because He is in the breakthrough business!
Surrendering the process
I learned in my college creative writing class that when it comes to writing a book, authors typically put themselves in one of two categories: plotter or pantser. I know, I felt the same way when my professor said those words, too. If you’re a plotter, that means you struggle to write anything if your book isn’t following a very detailed outline. If you’re a pantser, that means you fly by the seat of your pants! You take your novel idea and just start writing and whatever your story becomes, it becomes!
Well, when I was in said writing class, we were assigned to create a detailed outline for our novel idea and between the time it was assigned and the time it was due, I struggled to plot past the first four chapters for several reasons: 1) I had been sitting on this book idea since high school 2) We only had two weeks to do the assignment and 3) I always knew that I wanted this book to intentionally communicate Jesus, so I wanted to be intentional and take my time with the outline, which this assignment did not give me.
Because of this, I thought I was a pantser, so I have treated myself as such since. I drafted several versions of the beginning four chapters of book one countless times over the past two years only to get stuck, uninspired and unable to come up with more plot to the story.
Until April, when I remembered some advice a friend gave me around the new year about surrendering my vision for my writing to the Lord and letting him take the creative reins; leaving my “yes” on the table, if you will. This advice was given to me in the context of writing poetry, but then I remembered UNINSPIRED and that the Lord has the power to do anything he wants through me, and that can include switching up my methods.
Story mapping, clarified vision
So, then I got this idea – to start from scratch. Bare bones book idea, starting with the biblical theme that it is inspired by. I got out some sticky notes and I went to my kitchen and wrote the title on a note card. I asked the Lord, “what does this mean?” and got my bible and looked up all of the scripture surrounding this theme. I also googled the theme to get a direct definition of the word. I wrote the words I got from scripture and the dictionary that describe the theme word around the title on its sticky note, and I stuck it on the wall.
From there, I took sticky notes and I wrote down the four verses that spoke to me the most in terms of what I want this book to communicate and, because this is a character-driven novel, I wrote the names of each side character on their own sticky note and paired them with a “theme verse” (the verses I’m using to back the theme of the book).
Next, I wrote the name of our main character on a sticky note and brain dumped who she is on a separate sticky note. On another, I wrote what I want her character arc to be.
& before I knew it, I built a story map on my kitchen wall with a clarified vision and fully-fleshed novel idea (plot & all!) that the Lord inspired! Now, I look at it every day to get inspired to write a little more whenever I can, and to remind myself of my dream of being an author; to never give up on it because God is on the move, giving me the desires of my heart as I seek to honor Him – how gracious is He!
Also another detail I think is fun to mention: I began building a playlist for book one waaaayyyy back in that creative writing class and one song that has been a stand-out on there since is “Tear My House Down” by Chris Renzema. The bridge of the song says this:
“Oh, tear this house down to its foundations
Break what You must break in me
On the shores of Your salvation
Cast my man-made kingdom into the sea”
That picture of absolute surrender and saying “Hey, I’m available! Do what you want with me!” has stuck with me since I first heard the song and while I was creating my story map, I just couldn’t help but feel giddy, thinking that my story map was a physical representation of that.
You’re invited!
The next day, I did my daily Quiet Time and asked the Lord to inspire me like he did yesterday and to bring a breakthrough. He told me I should try being a plotter. So, I opened a fresh google doc and titled it “Plot Outline.” I ended up outlining 20 chapters that day in detail. I’ve since outlined my novel, a handful of chapters at a time. I can see the end – we’re almost there! [Insert main character’s name here]’s story is coming to life before my eyes.
“This will happen. This is real now,” I keep telling myself.
And this is your official invitation to be in on the process! My hope with posting my progress on Instagram and blogging is that you feel loved (you are!) because you have a front-row seat to the creation of my debut novel and my dream coming true.
If you’re reading this line, you’ve officially accepted the invite & as a ‘thank you’ and ‘love you’ … our main character is Irene "Irie" James! AHHHHHHHHHH! I can't wait for y'all to formally meet her as the Lord continues to guide this journey!
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